Christmas Eve Anticipation

Christmas Eve can provide some challenges to a family with young kids. The anticipation of Christmas Day and all its glorious wonders (celebrating the birth of our Savior, a visit from Santa, toys, and good food) tend to override all reason. With unbridled energy they wiggle like young pups when a stranger approaches.

Christmas Eve morning we picked up a family friend at the airport, who planned to spend a few days with us. Walter is a welcome distraction for little kiddos anxious for Santa's arrival.

With a little sadness and anticipation, we also said goodbye to our Elf on the Shelf, "Elfie."

He was good to us. I'll miss the boys running to discover his latest location in the house each morning (stumbling over each other to be the FIRST to discover him). I'll miss Justin's expression as he pulled backed the covers in bed, ready for its warmth and my snuggle, only to be asked, "Did you move the Elf?" I'll miss his "Son of a biscuit!" exclamation as he swaggered out the door to scout out a new and unusual perch for Elfie.

We look forward to your visit again next year, Elfie!

The boys played a rousing Lego racer game before we went to the local movie theater, to watch Disney's Tangled. Which we all found very entertaining and delightful for the whole family.

And while our youngest took a much needed nap after the movie, Caleb and Joshua busted out the wrapping paper rolls for a little swashbuckling action.

As night fell, and our tummies were full of delicious Chicken Tortilla soup, the boys checked, and rechecked Santa's flight path on NORAD.

And when they couldn't hold off bedtime any longer, they put out Santa's cookies, along with carrots and "deer snacks" for the Big Guy's arrival later that night. With one last "good-bye" to Elfie, the house was quiet (except for the 5 times I had to re tuck the youngest two into their beds). 



Merry Christmas!!!

Strep Throat

This week as been a harrowing one for the family. It took nearly a week but we figured out that strep was causing all the sickies in the family. First Justin, then that same day Caleb and Joshua were tested positive. I tested negative but given an antibiotic prescription in case my symptoms got worse. By Friday my throat was so sore I could barely swallow my own spit. So I started my antibiotic and so glad I did. I am still not 100% but at least I can swallow with less pain now. Having Step throat is no fun, folks!

I'd like to take a moment of silence to honor Alexander Flemming for his discovery of penicillin, for which my throat and that of my whole family is forever grateful for.

Peace and stay healthy!

A Sticky Situation

Tonight is a big night for my men. It is the coveted Rain Gutter Regatta for the Cub Scouts. Its significance only shadowed slightly by the Race Car Derby at the end of the scout season. So it was left to me to get Justin's new Cub Scout Assistant Den Leader Shirt properly badged and ready for the big event.

In the past I dragged out my historic sewing machine (no really, it was passed down to Justin and I from his grandmother (God rest her soul) and it is so old and beautiful that it only has 2 numbers for the model and takes a forklift to get from the closet to the dinning table) to sew on Caleb's badges. This time, at the suggestion of a fellow scout mom (thank you, Rachel!) I decided to splurge and buy the "Magic Badge." And boy, was it magic.

After making a repeated run to our main Boy Scout store I finally got the supplies I needed (see above picture). And if you have never had the opportunity to be inside a Boy Scout store, you are missing out. The badges alone are worth pawing through and shivering in delight at the variety and potential! Add in knives and woodworking material, maps and compasses, and your world will be complete. It is a young survivalist wonderland.

And without further adieu I pulled out the instructions in attempt to finish before dinner and my boys needed to leave.

I was dismayed to see that the shirt needed to be washed and ironed before the badge transfer. Yikes, should have read these days before. Oh well, one must do what one must do. So I skipped the washing and went ahead to ironing the wrinkles out. I pulled out the included instructions and the "Official Placement of Insignia" sheet before I proceeded. I am notorious for misreading or gleaning instructions and totally botching up a project, so I was determined to read twice and place once. After all, this was Justin's shirt and he'd be representing my work. No pressure, right?



1. First you remove the outer top paper for the patch that fits the badge you are working on. There is even extra space for tracing and cutting out patches for badges not listed on the paper. Press the badge firmly into the sticky backing. I used the handle of my scissors to really rub it in.
2. Next, as you lift the badge you will see the sticky stuff coming up with it. If you do not, then stick you finger nail into the sticky goo to loosen it as you pull the badge. This will usually cause a chain-reaction and it all come up in a perfect shape to the badge. If it isn't, press the badge back into the patch firmly and try again. Also, try flipping the paper over and rubbing the backing into the badge this way.
3. Last as you pick up the badge you will see bits sticking out around the edges. Just tuck these into the back and no one is the wiser!
4. Then press the now sticky badge into the proper placement. Once you are sure you have it in the right place use a handle or hard, smooth object to press into the clothing (I used the handle of my scissors).
5. The instructions recommend tossing the shirt into the dryer for 10 minutes to set the badges and goo together.

It took me a much shorter time to put all these badges on and I didn't need the Hulk to lift my sewing machine for me. It was a good day for this scouting mom.



$5 in Library Fines and a Few Steps from Pure Chaos.

10am and my boys are watching PBS Kids, sick and periodically fighting over blankets and pillows. Caleb is home from school with a fever and general illness, Joshua has a cough, pink eye, and generally surliness (that rash is from his constant licking and rubbing his face. Like a cat. Aquifer barely keeps the whole mess at bay as you can tell). Gavin, well he is not sick and causing all kinds of havoc.

Since I couldn't make it to the library today, as I had hoped, I tried to renew my books online and discovered about $5 in fines. I now have to decide if I want to attempt to pack up the my sick children just to make a library drop in order to avoid MORE fines on my People magazines and a few kid DVDs or scrap it and hope Justin gets home in time for me to make the run, alone, before the library closes. The problem with that, is I tend to linger and stay in the library until it does close. Wait, maybe this isn't a problem at all? I wish I was more organized to not have these daily struggles.

Which brings me to a BIG task looming over my stay-at-home head... Over the weekend I got a bee in my bonnet over rearranging the furniture in our Front Room, which is our computer/library area. And I still have stacks of books and games awaiting their proper home on a shelf. Calling my name, "Put me AwaYYYYY."   The loads of folded and unfolded laundry do this to me too. I think there is a conspiracy going on in my house. 

And the textbooks alone are an entity of their own. Just look at the Teaching textbooks and the Engineer books just longing to get cozy, mingle, and run away together. I have to keep them separated or else we may have the Fractals Growth Phenomena getting a little too fresh with my Meeting the Standards and before you know it mutiny and destruction.  I am talking End of the World stuff here.

Thus is my life every day. We are just a few steps from pure chaos and absolute bliss.

Now please excuse me while I help Gavin put on his Spiderman costume for the 5th day in a row.

Stray

As I was going over our family calendar Justin paused as he passed behind me, reached into his wallet and with a florish proclaimed, "I've always wanted to be able to do this."

It took all year, but we finally got to have a few strays....

A few of my Favorite Things...

These are a few of my favorite things...

A quiet reading nook

The Angel on the top of our Tree

The daddy of my babies (and the love my life) snuggling our youngest in a warm, sleepy embrace

Sleepy Car rides, Forts made out of pillows, and Tiny Feet with cuffed jeans



Little boys who become Spiderman

Swinging high with the Greatest of Ease

These are a few of my favorite things.

Circle of Digital Friends

First, let me give you some background, and I promise I have a point, just stick with me:

Five years ago I experienced a miscarriage. My first. I am not positive, but I do believe it wasn't my only based on another strange menstrual cycle, but this particular miscarriage was confirmed and a bit late in the game. Caleb was close to 2 years old and Justin and I had decided to try to conceive another baby since I had finished my Teacher Certification. We got preggers fairly easily (as it seems we do, but that is for another posting on the blessings of excellent birth control), but I just knew the pregnancy wasn't "right." I felt pregnant, and all the normal stuff, but I just "knew." I had even jokingly said so to Justin before our first appointment (joking only in a way that I was actually trying to be wrong and protect my heart.).

My appointment was set for about 9 and half weeks into my cycle. So we for sure should have seen a developing baby. Within moments of an ultrasound it was obvious we were no longer pregnant with a viable embryo, a baby. It was a bit surreal as I knew this was the case, and in a way I felt prepared. I had had friends share their own recent miscarriages so I knew it was common for child-bearing woman to have a miscarriage, sometimes several throughout their childbearing years.

I was sent home with pamphlets on miscarriage support and scheduled for a D&C. It seems my body loves to be pregnant, and thus does not like to not be pregnant as it was obvious the baby had not developed for several weeks.  My body still trudged on in pregnant mode. All my deliveries were similar in that I needed a push to get my body to give up its precious cargo.

So it came as a shock to me, and perhaps Justin, how hard the whole experience hit me while getting prepped for my D&C. Not only had a lost a baby that we very much wanted, but that I was about to go through a procedure to erase the whole matter from my body. In the exact same way as an abortion. The experience was so huge and confusing and overwhelming being alone (as Justin was told to wait in a waiting room) with a semi-sympathetic nurse and an IV. Waiting. Missing. Wondering, "what-if?" I actually wanted to run out of there and just see if they were wrong. Maybe my baby was just under-developed. maybe, maybe, maybe...

I felt very young, very inexperienced, and very out-of-control. There is nothing like losing a pregnancy to make you realize how out-of-control your life really is.

By the time I was prepped and on the table being administered drugs for my "Twilight Sleep" I was sobbing. To this day I get teary remembering that moment. I never got a chance to even know the little person, and they are already gone. The doctor doing the procedure was amazingly empathic and kind. He held my hand and gazed into my eyes as he gave me words of comfort. I cannot recall those words, as I was rapidly slipping into a dream world, but I remember apologizing for my sobbing and then blackness.

(Later, I was able to recall his name and actually switched to his care for my third pregnancy (Joshua) and was so comfortable with him that I used the word "clitoris" during my birth. But I screamed it, and perhaps, if you are lucky, I will share that story with you someday.)

Here he is, my kindly savior, on more than one occasion.



After the D&C I was left a bit adrift. Logically I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, but I felt... well a bit guilty. After all, I had joked about there "not being a baby" and it all being imaginary and then to be told in fact there wasn't a baby made me a bit paranoid. Was it self-fulfilling prophecy? Well, it kinda left me confused. Lonely. So what does one do when you are lonely and confused? You "Google" whatever it is that is making you sad and lonely. To which we all know happens millions a times a minute on the Internet. (Hello, Porn industry!) But in this case I found, in a roundabout way, a circle of women with a similar story to mine. A pregnancy lost. Some confusion. And the need to move forward.

And here's where I get to the point ( As I sure many of you are praising the Lord for, or whomever you praise: Buddha, Allah, your kid for not messing their pants today...):

I met some wonderful ladies on a "Mommy Board" and we somehow have stuck together. We have journeyed together through several message boards that have come and gone, and endured several high-drama moments that only women with lack of sleep, too many child-rearing books, and a poochy tummy can create.

It is an amazing gift, the Internet, to bring together people from across the country, even the world to share in experiences universal to all: Motherhood. We may not always agree on how we raise our children, but we share in this path, this need to nurture, to develop, to gain.... ourselves. And we do that through the adventures of being a woman first, and mothers second.

I have been there to grieve their lost babies, support their triumphant positive pregnancy test (both planned and surprised). I have witnessed the miracle of a mother's fight to save her child at any cost, only to carry them through with words of comfort and sorrow when their child passes away. I have walked in their babies' honor, raising over $500 for the March of Dimes. I have seen the miracle of babies born to women yearning for the opportunity to be a mother and when blessed with that chance after years of painful infertility seen them become some of the most amazing mothers.

I have shared my own pains of motherhood, my own frustrations, and my successes. I have three of them, you know.

So it is a very surreal and exciting moment to get to actually meet one of these women face-to face. Before, there is that distinction of a "virtual friend" versus a "reality friend," but when you get the opportunity to meet in person that all disappears. I got that opportunity in May 2009 when I was to meet not one, not two, but THREE of these women at the Denver Zoo.

Here's where I may need to draw you a Vin Diagram, so pay attention, class!
I knew Dana originally, and Dana has a sister named Melissa who lived in Denver. Dana also knew Bree from the mommy board who lived in Denver. She then suggested we all meet at the Denver Zoo.

Thus, in May, 2009 Dana and her family, Bree and her daughter and I met up at the Denver Zoo. At the last day Melissa was unable to make it to the zoo in time.

All the kids got along wonderfully together. Caleb (who still occasionally asks for a little sister and I have to run away in fear at the very thought of another pregnancy) adored Kaylie, so much so, that he even shared his ice cream with her! {swoon}

Bree (left), Dana Middle, Me (right) and our many small children.

 And  just last week, I finally got to meet with Melissa, Dana's sister as she recently moved up to my neck of the woods.  We had a great time letting the kids run around at the local mall.

After such meetings, when I sit back and think over the years of how I have come to know my online friends, that I marvel at today's technology which has allowed strangers, living in completely different cities, states, even countries, to come together to be friends. We support each other, laugh together at life's antics, and heal each other when we are lost and lonely. Many times sharing our deepest secrets and fears because we have no judgements, no expectations. Only support. Only experience and wisdom. And sometimes just plain silliness.

I am so intertwined with their lives from afar I need my "Friendship Genealogy Map" to explain who is who to my husband (who often just nods and drools in response to my "mommy board stories"). But I love the connection. One day we will be grandmas together. Perhaps even retired together. Then, it will be the sweetest song of friendship, eternal. On the Internet.

Which brings to mind the lyrics from one of my favorite flicks, Napoleon Dynamite

We met in a chat room
Now our love can fully bloom
Sure, the World Wide Web is great
But you, you make me 'salvivate'

Yes, I love technology
But not as much as you, you see
But I still love technology
Always and forever

Except for the weird drooling and the overly done affections of love, I think this pretty much sums it up for me.

Saying Good-bye

Today, I sold my camera. No, No, not my NEW Canon. Silly. I sold my Sony Cybershot H50 to a wonderful mother of 8 children (I did say EIGHT). I was wondering too, until I rolled up next her Big White Hope (a.k.a her 12 passenger van with three car seats and a 3 month old baby tired of waiting.).

She was a wonderful lady and I could tell she would love my baby. I mean camera.



It wasn't "just a camera" to me. That camera helped me grow as a photographer in a way I never thought possible. That camera and I saw a lot of laughter, amazing beauty in nature, and so much of God's Glory.

And it eases my heart to know that camera will be going to a good home, where it will be loved, and get to see MORE life and laughter. Heck with 8 kids (and I bet more in the future) that camera is going to get a workout!

Yes, we kept the box. Doesn't everyone? We actually keep the box to any new electronics, just in case we need it. Like for selling on Craiglist. (Psst, come here. Closer. I will tell you a secret for CL and Ebay: You always get top dollar for original packaging.)

Knowing my baby is going to a good home eases my heart, yes. But also walking away with the cold, hard cash of the sale really helped too. I sold the camera for less than what it was going for on eBay by $50 to even $100, however, I got a smoking hot deal in the first place due to a misprinted ad. Thus, I sold that camera for only $4 less than I paid for it. So not too shabby for nearly 2 year's worth of photography and memories.

So keep those boxes, friends. You just never know when you too can get a smoking, hot deal.

The Sweestest Soul

The sweetest soul I know is in the 4 year old body of my son, Joshua.

Today, in a department store I asked him what he was going to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas. He told me, "You have to wait and see..." As we walked by a display of earrings and baubles he turns to me and says, "But I know what I will get you for Christmas, mama. And I will have daddy drive me to the store to buy it!"
"Oh really?" I replied. "Are you going to tell me or let it be a secret?"
"Okay, I will tell you. It's earrings!" He exclaimed with a grin of satisfaction.

But then he does it again this afternoon.
As he walked out the door to play with his best buddy he stopped and turned, "I forgot something..."
"What did you forget buddy?"
Without a word he stepped toward me, arms out-stretched, then wrapped those arms around my legs for a Joshy-squeeze. {swoon}

My heart swells with love to have such a sweet soul for a 4 year.

Add a little giddy, some dental floss, and we have a tooth!

The long awaited moment has arrived for both myself and my oldest son, Caleb. He finally lost his first tooth. At 7 and a half years old we were beginning to wonder. A bit how I wondered if he'd ever get teeth as a baby, since his first tooth didn't arrive until he was over 12 months old. He is a late bloomer in matters of dental development, which is fine by me if it means less time in braces later in life!

As I managed the children through bath and jammies I also did some needed grooming: ear swabbing, hair combing, flossing of all three boys' teeth, when I proceeded to my nightly test of Caleb's two bottom teeth. Both of which have had promising signs of wiggle for weeks now. As I pulled, both our eyes grew to saucers at the realization these puppies were LOOSE. Very loose. We giggled, I prodded, he giggled and we plotted.

As we commenced with the nightly teeth brushing I decided to tie some long floss around the loosest of the teeth and let nature takes its course; thus, being a kid with two younger siblings, a string and a loose tooth can only go one way: OUT. And before we even left the bathroom, as I adjusted my camera settings, I heard a distinct *plunk, *tink and Caleb's words, "Well, I think that did it." He had stepped on the dangling floss and plucked that baby out! I will forever remember the look of pure shock and joy that he had finally lost his first tooth.

And for this mama, I look forward to every lost tooth, and all the glories of being a kid.